Rose: I had Cava. My new addiction. I love Cava.
Bud: I’m going home soon. I miss my home. Yay. Should I be putting this information on the internet? Whatever.
Thorn: It’s cold and I don’t know how to turn off the aircon.

I havent written in a while so here i am, writing. Currently typing away at 10:22 pm on a blank google doc, untitled document. It’s still dark in my room. It was dark in my room because i turned off the lights. I sat with a candle (Yankee Candle, White Strawberry Belini) in my hands, and i didn’t have my glasses on so it just looked like a orange-yellow blur with an occasional beam spewing at me (i have astigmatism).

Starting a new paragraph because at this point in time I googled “will breathing in a candle give me cancer” and went down a rabbithole of what i’m pretty sure was just AI gaslighting me.

Tryna recall details. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, back against the wall. I see a orange-yellow blur with an occasional beam spewing at me. My body is cold, my apartment is cold, I don’t know how to turn the AC down, except my hands, which are very warm. From holding the handle of course. I have my headphones on and I’m listening to the orchestral version of Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley (André Rieu). This is my favorite song. Have never experienced this level of frisson with anything else in my 21 years of being. I’m thinking about nothing. I’m trying to associate the song with someone I love, but my brain won’t let me. I think about work for a bit. Then that fades into blankness and I’m left staring at the orange-yellow blur. It smells nothing like white strawberry bellini. Well, to be honest, I have no idea what white strawberry bellini is. But I logically made the conclusion that it smells somewhat like a strawberry. It must, right? Well, this candle doesn’t. Elvis couldn’t possibly have written this song about someone. How can anyone feel this way?
Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you.

Another paragraph, for another rabbithole. Elvis didn’t even write it. It was written by Hugo Peretti, Luigi Creatore, and George David Weiss for a movie, Blue Hawaii. The melody for “Can’t Help Falling in Love” is based on a plaintive French love song called “Plaisir d’Amour.” I’m listening to this currently, while writing these words. These exact words. These ones. Apparently, ‘the original French lyrics emphasize the pain of romantic love, as in the repeated line “The pleasure of love lasts only a moment, the grief of love lasts a lifetime.”’

It’s not even a love song. I’m not crazy. It means nothing.